shadow work: healing through triggers
Wether you’re someone who is deep into self-help and your awakening or someone who is struggling with anger, isolation, and self-sabbotage (or Both), Shaddow Work is the place to begin. Here, I will give you 10 steps to not only recogize your triggers, but learn how to use them to heal old belief systems that are no longer serving you. All you need is something to write with and something to write on! Let’s go!
Triggers are inevitable if you’re human. As the subconscious mind develops early in childhood we are experiencing things for the first time ever. Wether those things lend to painful outcomes or happy outcomes, we assign them personal meaning. We store this information in our subconscious mind. This subconsious storge acts as a shortcut for future reference which ensures us that, should this incident or anything like it happen again in the future, we won’t have to waste our time thinking about how we feel about it and, subsequently, how to react to it. We will just KNOW what how to feel and how to react without even thinking about it, subconsciously.
As we get older, we use these shortcuts in our subconscious mind to put things in personal categories of, for the sake of simplicity, good or bad. Maybe you were bit by a dog when you were 5 years old and, due to the pain it caused, decided that dog = bad. You stored that in your subconscious and never gave another dog that opportunity again. Throughout life, you may have subconsciously reinforced the belief that dogs were bad by trending towards deleting anytime you saw dogs being loveable and reinforcing your belief any time you saw a dog being agressive. Of course, this is just a simple example as, in most cases, our triggers (seeing a dog nearby) are much more sophisticated and the reinforcements (seeing a dog playing agressively) are as well.
If you are experiencing the feeling of being triggered or you are in the process of locating beliefs that no longer serve you and are causing you discomfort and pain you can use my process to 1. Identify the trigger, 2. Locate the belief system behind the trigger, and 3. Heal the belief so that the trigger no longer “triggers” you. You will need something to write with and something to write on. I suggest a journal as it is a great tool for many self-healing exercises. It will also give you something to look back on to not only use again in the future, but to look back on your progress.
*The following will include a running example to help explain how to perform the exercise.
What is the Truth? Journaling exercise to heal old beliefs
Trigger Happens (we will refer to this as the Trigger Object moving forward): I want you to become very familiar with two facts:
1. Triggers are a sign that something is coming up for healing and
2. The longer you participate in the resistance of the healing the more likely you will begin to manifest undesireable outcomes and situations AKA: Self Sabotage
Begin to write in your journal about the fact that you’ve been triggered. You can say something like:
“… Ever since yesterday afternoon it seems like EVERYTHING is triggering me! So now what???” Remind yourself that you have options.
“I Know I Have Options”
- I can say, “Screw it! I’m in a bad mood, everyone watch out until it passes!” (definitely the old waay of doing things).
- I can understand that I’ve been triggered and isolate, sit in acceptance of it, allow myself to feel it and wait for it to pass (a bit of a higher vibrational solution than the latter).
- I can recognize that I have been triggered and that the trigger is a sign that something is coming up for healing. I can, then, sit in meditation, listen to spiritual teachers, and attempt to get back to a good feeling state where I feel less resistance, get my vibration up, and enjoy the manifestations of that place of feeling good (works really well and is much more higher in frequency than either of the latter). The only issue with this technique is that one never deals with or confronts the trigger and that which has come up for healing. This means that it isn’t healed and will definitely come back again.
- I can muster up the will, the desire, and push myself from this lower vibration to a place were I am willing to IDENTIFY (From here we begin the 10 Steps For Using Triggers to Locate and Heal Old Beliefs).
It’s possible, if needed to start at number 1 and work your way up to number 4. Once you get to a place where doing option number 4 is feasible for you, then you can begin the Identification Process. The Identification Process is where the Process of Healing begins.
STEP ONE: Recognize, “I am being triggered.” Example: I received a text from my old boss (trigger object). The text triggered me even before opening it. I recognize that I am being triggered right now by the emotions that looking at the text brings up.
STEP TWO: Realize, “Something is trying to come up to be healed.” Example: I know that I was feeling fine before I saw the text and that my feelings behind just seeing the my boss’ name has created an irrational level of emotion. It is cleared that something needs to be healed here in order for me to move forward.
STEP THREE: Identify the emotion underlying the trigger (this might bring up a coping mechanism as a form of avoidance). Example: I am feeling anger, rage, avoidance – I don’t want to look at the text. Now I’m in a bad mood and small things are starting to piss me off.
STEP FOUR: Identify the source of the initial trigger and subsequent emotion/coping mechanism (or self sabotaging behavior). Example: SOURCE – Text from old boss; EMOTION – Anger/Rage/Irritated/Desire to Avoid trigger object; SELF-SABOTAGING BEHAVIOR/COPING MECHANISM – Stopped engaging in my day, started isolating myself.
STEP FIVE: Think back to a time prior to the trigger object manifesting itself and Identify thoughts of resistence that you may have been thinking. Example: Prior to getting triggerd by my boss’ text I can remember thinking about my financial security and feeling slightly but increasingly uneasy and worried that I won’t be able to provide security to myself and my family. I estimate I’ve probably been thinking about this more and more over the past three days.
STEP SIX: Find the sympolism behind the trigger object, what does the trigger object represent to you? Example: My old boss reminds me that I am not good enough. She symbolizes my own failures and inadequacy. I am all too aware of her power over me and my family’s security and my lack of ability to provide that security on my own.
STEP SEVEN: Identify with the feelings/emotions associated with the beliefs located in STEP SIX (I believe that: I am not good enough; I am a failure; I am inadequate; I have a lack of ability to provide security; In order for me to have security or be seure someone else has to provide it to me aand therefore that person has power over me).
*When attempting to identify the feelings/emotions associated with these beliefs, use an emotional tone scale while you reflect on them. Example: In this situation, I identify with DARK BLUE: Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness.
Once you have successfully identified the belief system that underlies you trigger you can now begin the three step process of healing the belief system that no longer serves you. The process I have created for this is called What Is The Truth?
Here you will be coming from a broader perspective with willingness to accept that nothing can happen to you that you do not allow. It becomes a rant of truth about the topic at hand where you are empowered and in power of your life.
- Take your power back: Assert, “The ‘trigger object’ is not making me feel anything. The feelings come from me and me only. The ‘object’ is triggering my own feelings about myself. It is bringing up for me that somewhere within myself, when it comes to security, I believe that I am a failure, I believe that I am not good enough, I believe that I am inadequate and that I lack the ability to provide security for myself and my family, that in order for me to have security or to be secure someone else has to provide it to me and therefore that person has power over me.” During this step you may notice something click or a lightbulb go off.
- The healing comes with realizing that the lie is not true. It is an illusion, a story you’ve created and added to throughout your whole life. Ignoring all that was in opposition to the story and using anything that supported the story as further validation.
- What Is The Truth? Write down a brainstorm, a rant, a list… jot down any time, situation, any thing that you can remember that is in the slightest opposition to your triggered beliefs about yourself/to the story.
Begin to notice a change in your vibration
Example:
“When I decided to change my life I made the changes I needed to make on my own. I did things most people do not have the strength to do. I pushed through and acheived my goals in the face of doubt and fear alone. I worked hard every day so that I could continue to make more money and achieve my goals and I did that! I am smart, powerful, hard working, and helped my old boss succeed!”
As you are writing get into as much detail as you can, really connect with the truth within yourself. Continue writing until you begin to notice your vibration rising, you can even stop to check the emotional tone scale and see if you are still at the same frequency as you were prior to the exercise.
“I have taken control of my life and and I am no longer the young girl that I am so used to being. I have stepped into fear and discomfort to stand up for my dreams and desires. I am finding the TRUTH and POWER through SELF LOVE and MY OWN bravery and actions. I am where I am today because of ME. I CHOSE to not allow anyone to have power or control over me. I CHOSE to BELIEVE and to KNOW that I have the ability to provide security to myself and those that I love. Everyday I am working hard for MYSELF, for MY GOALS! I CHOSE to leave that job because it was no longer in alignment with who I realize myself to be and THAT IS THE TRUTH!
Be sure to end your rant, whenever you are ready to end it, with the exclamatory phrase, “and THAT IS THE TRUTH!“