“I can’t help it! Why do I think so negatively all the time? It seems as if I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, like I’m always expecting the worst. I spend so much time worrying about what may or may not happen or what other people think. Honestly, I generally don’t trust people and rarely expect anything good will last long. And, on top of all that, I’m always so critical of myself! Everyone else seems to be so happy, to have it all together. Why can’t I be like that too?”
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Negative thought patterns are a real thing and affect a large majority of our population in a serious way. These negative thought patterns seem to occur automatically in a way that cannot be controlled. If you are afflicted by uncontrollable negative thoughts such as WORRY, DOUBT, SUSPICION, ANGER, or FEAR of any kind, I want you to know that all you need is intention and desire to change these negative thoughts in order to witness a whole new experience of life; one that offers SWEETNESS and ENJOYMENT, bringing JOY and EXCITEMENT to your day.
While many of our thoughts are conscious thoughts like, “What do I feel like eating for lunch today?” there are still a great portion of our brain that retains subconscious thought (approximately 88%). Subconscious thoughts are those that we have repeatedly thought so much that are brains, in an effort to be as efficient as possible, elect to store the thought away for instantaneous reaction or retrieval without having to weigh them out or really “think” about them at all. You might call these thoughts “automatic” and they may feel “uncontrollable”. But we would like to take all that power away and just refer to them as “practiced” or “habitual”.
It would stand, then, that if a negative thought – that has been repeated over and over throughout your life – can become subconsious and seemingly automatic, a positive thought can do the same. Your job is to intend and desire for the positive thought to replace the negative thought. If you are reading this article, my guess is step one is already complete as half the battle is actually wanting to change. The other half, or step two, is actually doing the work. Those negative thought patterns were not created over night and they certainly won’t change over night either.
If you feel that this is you, that you are definitely someone who has developed negative thought patterns over time and don’t know how to change this, it is important that you know this: In order to create your present, practiced, habitual way of thinking you had to have proof that helped your brain to say, “this is true”. One instance of proof would not have been enough either. You had to experience several instances that proved your assessment of something.
For example, keeping it simple, let’s say that when you were a child your parents struggled to pay the bills, had to share a car that was constantly in need of repair, and everytime you asked them for something they would reply, “we can’t afford that”. These constant reinforcements that your family did not have money may have trained you into a belief that you are part of a family that can’t afford things they want. Let’s fast forward to adolescents, this continues. You are the kid that never gives a gift at birthday parties, or can never go to the movies with your friends. You begin to personalize your family not being able to afford things to now you personally are not able to afford it.
Moving forward to young adulthood, you have a job that doesn’t pay very much and need to pay rent every month. Your friends get paid more than you do and still live at home. They go on several mini vacations every year but you “can’t afford” to do the things you want.
By the time you’ve reached your late 20’s you have watched your parents not be able to afford things and reinforced the thought, or belief (a belief is just a thought you keep thinking), that you can’t afford the things you want in life by experiencing repeated situations where you believed you could not afford something. Little by little you have created a negative thought pattern through repeating a thought and proving it to yourself over and over again with consistent reinforcements. This is exactly how the negative thought patterns were created and exactly the process you will use to create and reinforce more positive thought patterns, replacing the negative one with the thought patters you prefer.
Thankfully, CHOOSING to change your thoughts consciously takes a lot less time to do than by unconsciously allowing it to develop over time. But, it does take discipline and some fun tricks that won’t cost you anything at all! All step 2 requires is action. So grab a notebook and something to write with, find your favorite positive affirmations on YouTube or online and practice writing out the new thoughts you would like to TRAIN your brain to think. Using the example above, we would want to establish what the negative thought is by taking some time to observe our thoughts throughout the day and find out what our self talk sounds like and which thoughts we are repeating. In this case it is, “I can’t afford the things I want”. Find out what you would like to replace the thought with, “I can afford the things I want in life”.
Next, you’ll need to reinforce this thought. Our brains don’t just believe things without proof. So start easy. Look for things in your environment that you have bought, that you were able to afford. It should be simple things like a belt you like a lot or a book you wanted from Amazon. The point is to start small and look for things you already have, acknowledge them, store them into your long-term memory by writing them down in your Proof Journal. As time goes on extend your proof journal to include bigger things, a lap top, a pair of nice shoes, maybe you’ve invested in some nice cookware or a big television.
As you are writing things in your proof journal, don’t forget to consistently create positive thoughts by writing your chosen positive affirmations in your Proof Journal. Both the affirmations and the proof you see in your reality will act as reinforcements to one another.
The last step in this process is to test out the new thought affirmations in real time. Be careful not to reinforce old negative thought patterns. Using our example, when you see something new you want (starting small) think to yourself, “I can afford the things I want in life”, and buy it. Notice that you did not go broke and were able to afford it. It is important to start small at first. You are training your brain to believe something it has taken years to train itself not to believe. Be patient.
If, in fact, you truly cannot afford it, then change the thought and subsequent behavior to something slightly closer to your desired outcome. Again, using our example, you see something small and inexpensive you want to buy. Instead of reinforcing the negative thought from the past, think to yourself, “I can’t wait until that is mine, I will focus on a way to make that happen in the near future. Afterall, I can afford the things I want in life!”